I want to update more often here.
I just keep forgetting to.
My bad.

So many options for great music tomorrow night.
I'll be spending it w/ the fam jam feeding my father great italian food.
If you're in the North County, go to the Jumping Turtle.
Around SDSU, head to Lestats.
Won't be disappointed either way.

Something about the Santa Barbara coastline, solo driving, and contemplating life just worked for me on Thursday.
Yes. One butt cheek did go numb again.
Luxury car my ass.

I'm guessing the addition of Las Posas as a freeway exit means Booneville (San Marcos) upgraded to version 3.0 than.

Pickup lines, good times.
So if I haven't told you the story yet, or you haven't gotten around to reading it on myspace yet, please enjoy.

And then I get slapped.

So a few weeks ago I was bar-hopping by myself because I still need a wingman.
I'm working on my 2nd long island iced tea and discussing the intricacies of bartending with the bartender on duty that night because it's a part-time job I'm interested in picking up.
I notice during my conversations a lovely lady sitting with a group of her friends at the other end of the bar.
I send a slight smile and a wink her way and it's returned by some pearly whites.
They weren't Johnny Depp/Willy Wonka white mind you, but they did evidence that she brushes her teeth.
Which is an important thing, but I'm running on a tangent now.

I like using pick-up lines.
Not because I think they'll actually work in getting someone to share a physical connection with me.
I just like using cheesy pick-up lines to test their sense of humor.

So I walk over to her little circle of friends.
"Do you raise chickens?" I ask.
Slight laugh from her while she looks around at her friends.
"No." She replies.
"Well.... you raised my cock."
Delivered w/ a smirk on my part.

Probably a 5 second pause from her...
And then I get slapped.

Her friends got a good laugh out of the line.
They've got a great sense of humor.
She took life a little too seriously for my taste.
The prim and proper type, something I would've realized if I noticed the white wine she was drinking.
I probably would've come in w/ a less vulgar line.
"So my friend back there that I haven't met yet wanted me to tell you that I think you're beautiful."

Might've been less painful, but this night was fun nonetheless.
Made some new friends(hers), got some numbers(theirs), and a free drink from the bartender cuz he thought that line was awesome.
Feel free to use it at your own discretion.
--------------------------------

"I'd like to park my car in your garage of love."
My wit scares me sometimes.
I've been introduced as an artist, actor, wedding singer, and a performer.
I still get weirded out when people introduce me as a comedian.
Finally found the template for the Booty Call Contract my friend and I put together in high school.
Posting it up on the web probably wouldn't dissuade people from thinking that I am anything but a comic huh?

Current Brain Age: 22
The Random Quote:
"It's a giant foot." - Anonymous